I wrote this a few months ago and never published it. I guess I just wasn’t ready to take the plunge of honesty. But after talking to some other photographers about the benefits of blogging more than just your photos, and after putting out a few more personal posts than I normally do, I decided it was time to share what’s been holding me back because you never know, it might help someone else.
Can I make a confession? Being honest on the internet scares me. It scares me because of the vastness of the exposure. To me it feels like a dream made reality where instead of walking naked into high school you are walking naked into every home in America. Okay – so I know that not every home in America reads this blog…not even close…but they could. It’s available and that’s what scares me.
And yet honesty is part of who I am. I may have a bubbly California-girl exterior off the bat, but those who know me personally know that small talk isn’t my thing. I want to know WHO you are more than what you do and I want others to know the same about me. I don’t really have secrets, there isn’t much I wouldn’t be comfortable talking to you about (except ew ew ew bathroom stuff…and why why why is that my husband’s favorite topic of conversation?) and my parents have told me I was that way since I was a little kid. I’m not trying to make myself sound so amazingly good (trust me, I know my faults and they are many), but honesty is just something like a sneeze for me. When you hold it back it just doesn’t feel good. You can learn so much from being honest and getting feedback and others can learn so much too. Yet on my blog I’m starting to feel more of that itch to be more open and honest, to be more…me. And yet for once in my life by being honest I feel extremely exposed.
So this post, telling you how I feel about blogging honestly (that it absolutely terrifies me) is me attempting to be myself on the web. This is the beginning of a new category of posts I’ll be doing called “Honestly.” Keep a look out!
Photo by Carmen Santorelli