One year for Christmas, when I was no more than 12, my Dad gave me a paperweight. What does a 12-year-old (or anyone for that matter) need with a paperweight? It is your standard, run of the mill, don’t-know-what-to-get-for-my-boss Christmas gift. And yet though moving 6 times in the last 6 years has forced me to give away many cherished things, this paperweight has stayed with me all this time.
Perhaps it’s because it asks a question instead of stating a truth. A question that begs you to dig deep inside of yourself, to find what makes you happy and to run after it free from fear. I think we all carry fear when it comes to our dreams. A fear that makes us hesitate when someone asks us what we want to do with our life. Do we answer truthfully? No, for the fear of being told its impossible we play down our dream, packaging it in a way that others will think is realistic -that we think sound reasonable. Even in our prayers we are afraid to tell God what we really want, never thinking that if we do, He just might give it to us! I remember being just out of college looking for a job and I wanted so badly to pray, but almost thought it would be silly, “God, I want a job that allows me at the same time to be creative and technical. To be able to work with people, but not always be surrounded by them, to make good money in a creative field. To be able to be my own boss.” They seemed to be contradictions to silly to utter, but I knew what I wanted and God did too, though I was too scared to ask him for a long time. Shortly after I finally was able to vocalize the desires of my heart, He gave me every one of those things. Something I so often forget is that Matt 7:7 says “Ask and it will be given to you” not “hope and it will given to you or “think it and it will be given to you.”
When I suffocating at my desk job, I wanted to become a wedding photographer so bad, but fear kept me from saying it, fear kept me from asking, fear kept me from running. Fear that if I picked up that camera and did everything I could to achieve my dream, that it still might not happen. Fear that all of that work could be for nothing, and worst of all that I would be defeated and a failure. But failure is not trying and meeting obstacles, real failure is never trying at all. So ask yourself, what would YOU do, if you knew you could not fail? Guess what- you can’t fail unless you try, so GO!
Thank you Melissa of MLKL Photo for the first two images of me and Amy Rizzuto for the second! :) xoxo